Bear Grillz opens up ahead of his Jerry Springer appearance

bear grillz

Fresh from supporting Excision on his Paradox tour and his own Australian tour and currently in the midst of writing his debut album, dubstep’s favourite/only sex-addicted, highly volatile bear will make history tomorrow as he reveals his true identity on the legendary Jerry Springer show.

Is it Skrillex? Is it Datsik? Is it Flux? Is it an actual bear? Is it someone we’ve never heard of? Is it two people of diminished stature under one suit?

Actually…. Do we really need to know?

Like him or not, Bear Grillz is a rarity in this game. A proper character who can say what he likes, when he likes and doesn’t have to worry about the dreaded backlash or outrage because that’s his vibe. Musically he’s shown zero fucks, too: regularly poking fun at EDM and celebrity culture and casually dropping the c-bomb, across his seven Firepower EPs he’s provided dubstep with a much needed humorous perspective over the last two and a half years.

He’s also the only DJ we know who can pull of an interview like this. Rude, obnoxious and tongue-in-cheek. What with him revealing his identity tomorrow, this could well be the last interview of this nature…. Once his identity is out, answers like this will seem a little contrived. Unless it’s all a big joke and he’s literally going to expose himself physically on Jerry Springer?

Who knows? Who even cares? This is what Bear Grillz had to say earlier this week…

Bear Grillz on Jerry Springer: I was kinda hoping for something juicier than an alias revelation. Like how you’re the mystery participant in the latest three-in-a-bed-celeb romp or how you’re actually two little people underneath one bear suit…. 

Well I was hoping to be interviewed by Rolling Stone so I guess this is turning out to be a disappointing day for both of us.

Who approached who here? Is Jerry a Bear Grillz fan? Has he been smoozing back stage with you when you’re in NYC? Or are you a massive Jerry fan and when the drugs wear off and the ho’s have gone home do you like to put your feet up and watch a cheeky bit of daytime telly?

I’m just going to go ahead and focus on the ‘ho’s’ element of your question here. Quite frankly the situation has started to get a bit out of hand recently – even Borgore recently suggested that I need to calm the fuck down which really is saying something really isn’t it. I think this all stems from abandonment issues, as I was left alone at a young age after hunters murdered my parents just so they could make a nice rug. You humans are c*nts.

Judging by the last few interviews we’ve had with you, I sense there’s some substance issues and / or anger management issues deep down inside that furry head of yours. Is your Jerry Springer appearance a chance to totally wipe the slate clean and sort your life out?

I had a crack at ishaya meditation recently, which is basically a moderately less bullshit version of full blown vegan meditation. I think I lasted about 2 and a half minutes before I walked out of the room when some prick in a rainbow hat tried to give me advice about cleaning my crystals under a full moon. I don’t think I have an anger management issue so much as an inherent ambition to fuck everything up in the name of entertainment. Hope this answers your question.

Because things have been low, haven’t they? In between those glittering moments of unfettered EDM fame you’ve had some serious lows, right? 

I’d rather not talk about it.

Tell us how low…. 

I’m not sure I could explain without drawing a diagram.

Even lower…

Yeah I’m going to need a lot of ink here.

The lyrical content you’ve displayed lately – notably on tracks like Fuck Off and Going Down (Under) – is rather racy… Have you been advised on your language before you appear on the show? 

Frankly if they want my interview to sound like a radio edit of an Eminem track then so be it. Artist integrity is highly important to me.

So what do you hope will happen from this? Once we know your identity will you pack it all up, walk away into the sunset and retire on your millions? 

What I hope and what is realistic are most likely vastly different. To answer your question though, I hope off the back of this Bernie will win the presidential race, champagne and beautiful women with an inexplicable taste for bear meat will rain from the sky, and the national anthem will be replaced by Fuck Bitches Get Honey. Let’s be honest though we’re probably looking at an extremely viral video leading to a Vegas residency where I can play dubstep to a load of people in suits.

Finally… I got a bet with a colleague that you could batter Jerry’s security guard Steve in a fight. Have I just wasted a fiver? 

Frankly I think you’ve wasted the last half hour writing these interview questions, but that’s just me.

One thought on “Bear Grillz opens up ahead of his Jerry Springer appearance”

  • Lmfao this is brilliant. The “radio edit of an Eminem track” line was pretty hilarious

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