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Top 10: Glastonbury 2016 Essentials

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Officially open today! The jewel in the UK’s festival crown returns to Worthy Farm to kick off the UK’s festival season in the most spectacular fashion. It’s Glastonbury time.

Scrolling through the pages and pages of Glastonbury’s set-times is enough to give anyone a clash-induced headache, even people who aren’t even going to the festival.

Thousands of talented artists will descend on Pilton along with 200,000 revellers in a matter of days, all donning their wellies and escaping reality for a taste of the famous Worthy Farm mud.

The festival’s organisers have come under criticism in recent years for their somewhat controversial headline bookings, but there’s still an absolute shedload of serious talent to behold every year, and 2016 is certainly no exception.

It would have been very easy to pick out fifty sets worth seeing, but here are just ten you should probably squeeze into your schedule to get you on your way. (For full line-up and schedule business visit the official site)

Mura Masa



When: 10pm, Thursday night
Where: Wow!

It’s Thursday, you’ve pitched your tent, cracked open up a tin of warm Carlsberg and got your bearings (sort of) – who better to kick off the weekend’s frivolities than emerging talent Mura Masa? He’s got a knack for producing ridiculously catchy tunes which will no doubt go down a treat as the sun(?) sets on the farm for the festival’s first night.

UKF Takeover: Roni Size b2b Adam F b2b Bryan G and MC Dynamite



When: 12.45am, Friday
Where: Heaven, Shangri-La

We’re amped for our Shanri-La takeover on Friday night! And this back-to-back bonanza is truly the stuff of legend. Three absolute titans of the game backed up by showman MCs extraordinaire Dynamite. A verified set to remember in the heart of the festival’s weird and wonderful South East corner. Join us!

Swindle

When: 4pm Friday
Where: Sonic

Swindle: a cross-style badman with more musical talent in his little finger than a lot of people possess in their entire body. His latest album, Peace, Love & Music, received critical acclaim and his live show is definitely something to behold at Sonic on Friday afternoon – partly because he hasn’t toured the whole band at many festivals yet but mostly because it’s awesome.

Super Hans



When: 8pm, Saturday night
Where: Stonebridge Bar

It’s Super Hans! When Matt King (the actor who plays him) announced that he was set to get behind the decks this summer, Peep Show fans lost their minds. Rumour has it he’s going to play a bass loop that’s so good when he tries to turn it off, he can’t. Sucks to be the DJ playing after him. Let’s just hope nobody has told him Coldplay are headlining…

James Blake



When: 10.15pm, Saturday
Where: West Holts Stage

James Blake’s latest album was an absolute masterpiece. The massively talented producer encapsulates audiences wherever he plays with his almost awkward stage presence and, above all, bags of supreme talent. His Saturday night set on what is, in many people’s opinion, one of the best stages at the festival, is a must see.

Andy C

When: 12.05pm, Saturday
Where: Arcadia

It’s Andy C playing on a giant fire-breathing metal spider just after midnight on Saturday night, of course it makes the list. We know you’ll be well-versed on The Executioner’s talents behind the decks, but if you’ve never seen the full Arcadia in action at Glastonbury before, then all I can do is suggest is that you do it – especially when Andy is up there. He tore the spider a new one at Glastonbury two years ago and he’ll no doubt be doing the same this weekend.

The Upbeats



When: 3.30am, Saturday
Where: The Temple

The Temple is arguably one of the most impressive nighttime venues at Glastonbury and it’s serving up a proper drum & bass treat on Saturday night. Aphrodite kicks things off at 1.30am before Sub Focus, The Upbeats and a Critical Soundsystem takeover take it through to sunrise. All of those sets are enough to get the pulse rising but The Upbeats should be a set to cherish in particular.

Gregory Porter



When: 1pm, Sunday
Where: Pyramid Stage

Bit of a curveball, this one, but hear us out. This guy has a set of pipes that could pacify anyone, even the Russian hooligans who have been running riot at the Euros. He’s an immensely talented vocalist backed up by an incredibly talented selection of musicians. He was a hit on the West Holts stage last year and his dulcet tones are the perfect match for Sunday afternoon in the sun (*fingers crossed*) before the final night of mayhem ensues. Even if jazz isn’t your thing, it’s worth checking him out.

Tom Misch



When: 4.45pm, Sunday
Where: Pussy Parlure

Rising star with a massive future ahead of him. From what it seems, there aren’t many instruments this young lad can’t play and he’s a nifty little song writer too, writing tune after tune which get lodged in the brain for quite some time after the first listen. His Sunday afternoon set in the heart of the hedonistic heaven, Silver Hayes, will be a chilled out blend of jazz, hip hop and more.

Gutterfunk Closing Party with DJ Randall, Addison Groove and Diemantal 



When: 10pm, Sunday
Where: Stonebridge Bar

The last night of a festival is always a bit of a sad affair with the grim realisation that reality is just around the corner, so it’s up to the the festival’s organisers to cram as much good stuff in on the closer to keep spirits high and postpone that sense of dread. Luckily, the Eavis clan have called on the Gutterfunk family to throw a closing party to end all closing parties; d&b don Randall will be joined by Addison Groove and the deadly duo of Dismantle and label boss DJ Die to make Diemantal. There is, of course, an awful lot going on as the festival draws to a close, but this party will quite possibly be the best way to enjoy the final hours on the farm.